Ha ha ha ha ha!

[The Invisible Man]

[lionking]

THESE REALLY WORK!!

I checked this out on Snopes, and it's for real!

AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. So True

7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

[lionking]

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH



Don't tell me your age; you'd probably lie anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH



This is pretty neat.

DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read .
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.



1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)



2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)



3. Add 5



4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator



5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1762 ..
If you haven't, add 1761..



6... Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.



You should have a three digit number



The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).



The next two numbers are



YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)



THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2012) IT WILL EVER WORK,

[lionking]

Laughter is the best medicine


Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband.

"Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours!



There are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman.

Before Marriage and After Marriage.

My Husband And I Divorced Over Religious Differences.

He Thought He Was God, and I Didn't.



Husband was Throwing Darts at His Wife's Photo and Not Even a Single One Hitting the Target... From Another Room Wife Called The Husband: Honey What Are You Doing...

Husband: "MISSING YOU"...



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...

Women are like phones:

They like to be held, talked to and touched often.

But push the wrong button and you're disconnected.......



Difference Between Complete & Finish...

People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is... When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.... And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.....



Romantic...SMS She sends the following message:

My love if you're sleeping, send me your dreams

If you're smiling, send me your smile

If you're crying, send me your tears

I love you



He Replied: I'm in the toilet. What do I send?





There are 3 kinds of men in the world:



Some remain single & make wonders happen,

Some have girlfriends & see wonders happen,

The rest get married & wonder what happened!?

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